Little things. They are what make up our lives, don't they? Today i realized that it isn't the big things that change your life all the time. You don't need a nerve-wrecking encounter to learn to appreciate your family, or an epic fail in your test to wake up to study. Sure, these do happen to us but the things that slowly, but gradually change us are the tiny things in life that we so often overlook!
Sure, a big thing might motivate us...for a day? How fast does it wear off? A week? A month? These super fast things never procure good results:D I've learned this when my mind finally pieced together after a long long month. :D

Over the month, i've...been trying to find out who i really am. You see, i went through some rather frightening changes that scared me a lot, and i was in this semi-concious state of living that really didn't make me feel as glad with life as i used to. Complicated? Let's just say that i lost myself:D

So today, i had the biggest heart attack of my life, and it opened my eyes to see the little things that actually define who i really am:D
Let's just give the simpler version that for the first time in my life, i was really really really worried for someone, and this showed me how much friends can care for each other. Once in a clique, always in a clique. :)
So after getting the heart attack and running all over the school, i found out that...it is the little things that count in life.

Me? i can tell you something now. I'm this girl who likes vintage things, and crowded areas because they give me comfort, somehow. I love those ice cream carts that stick outside the toa payoh library, and though it is utterly fattening, i can easily eat the whole thing in a minute. I like to watch people and form my own conclusions about them, and i think its really fun to see them mess up and try to look as though nothing happened. i..okay, guess what? I shall go change that freakishly long profile thingy about me. I think i really changed a lot:D go see!:D

LIMSHAN! HELLO! my name is limshan, and just to give you a headstart... I'm a sotong, and this is going to be a freakishly long post that changes all the time because i change all the time so you'll have to bear with me here:D so...hmm...who am i? Now, that's really simple. I'm a girl who probably should have been born in the 15th century when kings and queens were still alive and girls were still wearing corsets and dresses. I'm absolutely insane about everything vintage, from tables to chairs to old coffeeshop houses near my house. Ah hah! Caught you there! You thought i was refering to the western kind of vintage right?(just agree. I know its lame but fun to try lah) Nope. I like anything old. Old houses, with maybe a little paint peeling off and some faults with the door handles and everything just makes me feel more at home. Don't you feel so constraint when you're in a whitewashed house with perfect glass doors with no finger prints or anything? Anyway, where was i? Ah, just another headstart, my memory skills are terrible beyond belief. How i can forget something that i'm writing now, i have absolutely no idea. Let's see.... Yes, i love the ice cream stands that are stationed outside the toa payoh library because they provide me the sugar rush after i had just studied in the awesome place and i love immersing myself in crowds. I love to be among people, because it makes me feel less lonely in life, and i absolutely adore my neighbourhood. At night, the streets will light up as though magic dust had been scattered around everywhere! Well, in actual fact, there are just over a dozen light shops there, but its really uplifting to see your home place lit up like its christmas on a night on your way back home from tiring school. I love festivals because they're so festival-ish and noisy and i just love the feeling. I exceptionally adore chinese new year because on those few days, everywhere would be blasting tunes that you know by heart and you get to dress up and visit everyone and just be happy on that day without anyone thinking that you're going bonkers. Christmas is fun too, but it doesn't have that boisterous feeling like chinese new year:D it is more of the time of the year where you settle down and think about how great the year has been:D Anyway, i love the smell of cookies when they just came out of the oven, and the feeling of garlic being fried when you step home from school. I want to learn how to play the piano even though the notes look like bean sprouts like me and i can only recognize numbers. I'm in love with country music that has a story behind it because i think songs only make sense when there is a reason for them being written. I miss playing on the swings and running amok like a little girl and i dream that one day, i can be one again. I love dance because i feel less lanky and uncoordinated when i'm dancing because right now, i'm tall and you will not believe how many scraps and pathetic falls i get into everyday because my arms and legs are way too long. I don't dream about guys as much as i used to because right now, i learned that life does not just revolve around love itself because its not worth being gloomy over a single guy and I don't believe in love at first sight. I think love is a magical thing though, because when you love someone, you tend to put him before yourself and that goes against the human nature of thinking about yourself at first. I love writing more than any of those things above because the words on paper are my voices. I'm extremely self-concious and i over analyze everything i see but sometimes, i know that a person cannot be perfect and glam all the time. If you're too perfect, you tend to look at people's flaws more critically and eventually, their flaws become unbearable to you because you have them as well. I believe that we should be just who we are, so if you day dream about love and people tell you to give it up, don't. I have a dream of creating a writing world where people can read when they feel sad, and then feel happy after that. I love writing stories and my main characters often carry characteristc traits of yours truly, and will continue to do so because when i solve my main characters' problems, i learn how to solve my own too. I believe that there is always a fairytale ending for everyone, and it all depends if you want to pursue it. I'm a terribly flawed girl who loves to sing in the toilet, dreams of being a superstar one day, and thinks of changing the world by myself as if i will ever be superman. I used to be a pushover and i was too lazy to even stand up for my own rights but now, i believe that we are all not angels. We are human beings, and if we're upset, we have to do something to ease the pain away. I never liked to scream at people, or people yelling at each other but i understand that they have to find a way to get rid of the things stuck in their chests. I write poems about the things i feel but mostly, they are not meant in any malicious way unless, you've been malicious to me of course. But when that happens, i'll think hard on whether its worth being malicious back. I get scared very easily and i stress and panic really easily but then, i would find a solution to the problem just as fast. I suffer from inferiority complex but i hate to let it ruin my life because its really not worth it. I used to be afraid and anti social but i've learned that to make friends, you have to be a little thick skinned at the beginning because its the hardest to be the first one to say, "Hi." Did i mention the fact that i think love is magical? Well, writing about love is part of me, and i guess it will always be. This place is one outlet where i can just let my thoughts flow and i love it to bits because too often, i dream of ideas that never really do see the light of the day. I treasure each new idea that comes to mind and i hope that one day, it gets shown to the world. And now, I hope that this blog, brings you magic, something that you need in your life, something magical, just like love.
Oh, did i forget to mention? I'm a girl thats called limshan.
And I'm a sotong.:)